11 January 2008
Bipolar function
What if bipolarity is a gift. An extra function.
An ability to confront life with extra intensity and openmindedness in order to try to improve ones outlook and inlook to help oneself and consequently probably others (and maybe even - since I'm feeling quite manic right now - in the long run, all humanity*)
What if when even a mania or psychosis doesn't seem to take you forward, maybe even makes you more confused, shifts into depression and total sense of meaninglessness, only in order for you to be able to start anew.
Maybe your next manic effort will take you a bit further than the last. Like trying to continue laying a very difficult puzzle (the foundation for your sense of judgment(?)) that needs all your skills in order to get clearer.
If even your psychotic abilities cannot help you grasp how to proceed - every new far-out way of looking at this puzzle fails - maybe the best way to continue is to leave it, get a rest, empty yourself of all granted, preconceived sense of outlook. Like in a depression.
Then try again, starting with the very simplest pieces of the puzzle, like food and sleep. Even having the feeling that this is enough and forget about the other pieces.
Is this maybe the best ground for trying again? Nothing to lose and slowly regaining your interest. Working the puzzle from other angles, maybe remembering some of the things that felt right and important the last time, trying to fit them in but maybe in a new way, in a new place.
Getting excited, overexcited, manic, psychotic. Not wanting to give up the most interesting and important task you have ever had.
Until you're too exhausted and have to leave it again. Hopefully not giving it all up forever, but to regain the strength to try again. With the knowledge that you can go back to the basic comforts whenever you fail.
The awesome happiness of finding an important piece and a foolproof place for it - knowing that this will almost automatically lead to many other minor revelations.
The awesome happiness.
*It's maybe this sense of the huge importance for mankind attached to my laying this puzzle that helps me not give it up.
09 January 2008
Unsorted threads
important - unimportant
alla kan vi inte vara stjärnor - alla är vi stjärnor
collected thoughts
calibration(Definition:lining up, Synonyms:adjustment, arrangement, calibration, order, positioning, sequence, sighting
Source: Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.3.1)
Copyright © 2008 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.)
natural but not good?
FN
leaps forward in development
similarities - dissimilarities between us
earthTV
shift focus - not directly. (A blind spot, also known as a scotoma, is an obscuration of the visual field. A particular blind spot known as the blind spot, or physiological blind spot, is the place in the visual field that corresponds to the lack of light-detecting photoreceptor cells on the optic disc of the retina where the optic nerve passes through it. Since there are no cells to detect light on the optic disc, a part of the field of vision is not perceived. The brain fills in with surrounding detail and with information from the other eye, so the blind spot is not normally perceived. Although all vertebrates have this blind spot, cephalopod eyes, which are only superficially similar, do not. In them, the optic nerve approaches the receptors from behind, so it does not create a break in the retina. The first documented observation of the phenomenon was in the 1660s by Edme Mariotte in France, at a time when it was generally thought that the point at which the optic nerve entered the eye should actually be the most sensitive portion of the retina. from Wikipedia)
brain sharpening, honing? on each other - rough and fine (skärpa [²sj'är:pa] skärpan noun exakthet i sinnesintryck; stringens; klarhet (also figuratively, "emphatically, with decisiveness") English translation: acuity; stringency; clarity,lucidity. Examples: med skärpa i rösten---with a sharp edge to his voice Compounds: synskärpa---visual acuity, tankeskärpa---mental acumen)
Noam Chomsky
Lasse Berg
Förändra sagor (Snövit?)
Doris Lessing "Don't forget that I'm an old communist. Anyone that's had that experience is very nervous about the idea of the writer with a mission. It produces very bad writing" 2005
Välj dina strider
Valentines Day - gifts of all things positive one day a year in media & among us all
Luxury: nails well kept & unkempt...tired - rested...clean - dirty...hungry - full...
contrasts enhance the feeling
Focus on our daily life (instead of... extreme feeling, why?)
Was my second psychosis about unconditional love towards all humanity
I'll laundry the woolen tomorrow - where's the backandwhite sweater
Was that the cat calling
I must sleep now to awaken more sorted
01 January 2008
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